I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
