I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
