You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
