look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
