i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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