Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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