I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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