physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
