So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize