Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
