I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
