i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
