There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
