Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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