I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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