Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
