She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
