O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
