Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
