I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize