so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
