You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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