discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
