He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
