I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
