i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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