awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
