dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
