have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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