well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
