yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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