i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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