My room smells like vodka and shame
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
