Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize