can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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