i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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