peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
