My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
