The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
