no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
