ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She told me I should be a condom model.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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