I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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