That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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