I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
