I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize