i just had sex bonerless
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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