Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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