The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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