Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Your penis caused this!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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