I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
