Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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