i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize