Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
