I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's rum buckets o'clock
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
