Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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