I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So apparently I’m into choking now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
