it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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