I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
