Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
