Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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