if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
