it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have already put on my inside pants.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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