We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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