You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
