That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
